Recollection is part 2 of a 4-part collection I wrote called Bittersweet. Comment, like and share. Read part 1 .
Slouched on the sofa I eventually became part of the furniture.
Drifting through life like a zombie.
Procrastination befriended me.
I rewarded myself for doing nothing by doing nothing.
I became emotionally crippled.
Hardening my heart to anyone who cared to check on me.
My solitude stole any joy I had in my heart.
I made rock bottom my home.
Self-pity became my daily bread.
I stewed in my own mess.
I was oblivious to my state of decay.
Mind, body and spirit slowly wasted away.
Looking in the mirror I saw a shadow of my former self.
Curtains drawn lights off I sat in the darkness.
Self-pity slowly gnawing at my sanity.
My mind drifting into the void.
The stench of ignorance covered me head to toes.
I was drowning in my own pride.
Blind to my own self destruction.
I found peace in my insatiable appetite for food.
It comforted me when no one else could.
Addicted I lost sight of my deteriorating health.
At the bottom of a bottle I found a sedative.
Scared of feelings I went for weeks in a daze.
Only coming out for air when necessary.
Hidden in my room as if in hibernation.
My smile turns into a frown when you are not looking.
I drown my tears in the rain.
I laugh only to hide the pain.
I drafted endless messages for you.
I could never get myself to press send.
I craved closure, but I feared what you would say.
Like holding a mirror, I was afraid of the flaws you would highlight.
Self-sabotage made me a resident of rock bottom.
A fog lingered over my mind.
Lost in my own thoughts I wasted away.
Cynicism captured my thoughts.
I heard the whispers from the dark corners of my mind.
I threw myself a pity party till I was well acquainted with rock bottom.
What a fine place it was too.
My mistakes came back to roost.
They left me holding my head in shame.
If only I could turn back time.
I was confronted by my own mortality.
There are moments I relive my mistakes.
Each of them gnawing away at my conscience.
What if I had done something different?
The past haunts me.